My life, my blog, and B-school somewhere inbetween

A catalog of one reapplicant's journey towards an MBA in 2008

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Rumble in the Windy City

...continued from the previous post

(whistle blows)

Announcer: And so it begins Ladies and Gentlemen. The storied fight for Redwolf056's favor is now underway. Right now our two opponents are sizing each other up, but it looks like the GSB is getting ready to make the first blow...

GSB: Kellogg man, I don't even know why you're here. You know you're gonna lose. You don't have the finance recruiting to compete with me, chump!

(GSB pushes Kellogg)

Kellogg: Hey, hey, watch who you're shoving there home-boy. You almost wrinkled my sweater-vest. Do you have any idea what the boys at the club would say if I came with a wrinkled sweater? And we do to have the finance recruiting to compete. Most of the banks that come to your campus come to ours as well. The difference is we don't have nearly so many students trying to grab their attention. They can sit back and chat in a civilized manner. Redwolf056 will be much better off with us because it will be much easier for him to stand out.

GSB: Man, Redwolf056 will stand out wherever he's at. He's going to come with us because he knows he'll be best off at the place with the most firms coming to recruit- and that's us! We got alumni throughout the industry for him to use.

Kellogg: You may have more of them, but we make up for it with quality. Our alumni will go out of their way to hook each other up, unlike yours. Maybe if you guys actually had a fun environment over there they'd be happier to help each other out.

GSB: Oh, we have plenty of fun over here. We may not be a "party" school like you, but we've improved a lot in the last couple years.

Kellogg: Didn't "Fun come to die" at your campus?

Shouts from the audience: Oh damn, he did not just go there! Kellogg just said your momma's a ho' and cheated on yo' daddy with Fun. You gonna take that?!

(Kellogg and GSB turn toward the audience with confused looks on their faces, then shrugs their shoulders)

GSB: Why you gotta bring that up?! That was a long time ago man. Things are different. Fun, Jr. has been coming by over the last couple years now. He doesn't blame us for his what happened to his Dad. It was an accident!

Kellogg: "Coming by"? At our campus Fun, Jr. converted his father's mansion into a full fledged resort! He spends all his weekends with us.

GSB: Whatever man, we have plenty of fun over here. Besides, b-school is only partly about fun. It's about learning too. And we have the best academics of any program in the country for finance. I bet you guys don't even know what a Vasicek model is.

Kellogg: Uh... I think I was hungover that day in class. But our finance department is really good. We may not have all those "quant" classes you have, but you obviously don't know Redwolf056. He already has a strong quant background. He doesn't need any more. If anything, he's got to counterbalance that image with other stuff like teamwork and social skills. And WE are the best school for that.

GSB: Teamwork is for chumps! All it does is slow you down.

Kellogg: (Gasps) You dare insult teamwork? You have crossed the line GSB!

GSB: Bring it, bitch.

Shouts from the audience: About time you punk asses actually do something and stop pussyfooting around. Knock the bitch out!

(Kellogg and GSB move in to try to hit each other)

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen this could be it. The first real blows of the match. Here it comes... Oh!! Unbelievable! Kellogg and GSB punched each other at the same time and they are both down for the count!

Shouts from the audience: You call that a punch? Looked more like a bitch-slap to me.

Announcer: These two champs seem to be really out of it. Ten seconds have passed, so the first one to actually stand up will be declared the winner... What's this? Chicago appears to be moving. He appears to have turned himself over and is trying to pick himself up. Oh, but wait! Kellogg has started moaning. He appears to be trying to say something, but I can't quite make it out. Yes, it's starting to sound clearer. I think I can almost understand it. It sounds, hmm, I think it sounds like....

Kellogg: Team! Help me up!

(Kellogg's team runs over and picks him up)

Referee: (blows whistle) That's it! Kellogg is the winner!

Announcer: Oh my god, another unprecedented event, Ladies and Gentlemen! Kellogg has just won by using his team for support. Anything goes in a streetfight like this, and it appears teamwork has come through for Kellogg to win. This is a great day for all the Kellogg fans out there. It looks like Redwolf056 will be attending Kellogg in the fall...

(audience cheers)

11 Comments:

  • At April 04, 2006 10:42 PM, Blogger Marina said…

    LOL @ "momma's a ho' and cheated on yo' daddy " !!!

    It would be great if you and MBAJackass were in the same study group :)

     
  • At April 05, 2006 6:47 AM, Blogger Forrest Gump said…

    LOL..

    Kellogg will be happy to have you, and Chicago will definitely moan at the loss. Good Luck at Evanston.

     
  • At April 05, 2006 3:37 PM, Blogger mba jackass said…

    awesome post - looks like you're angling for a best of blogging award with this series.

    did i meet you at DAK? i should have put a little MBAJ logo on my name tag - damn. we should have done some kind of dak bloggers meet-up - not that we had any time.

    either way, i'm about to sign a lease in on hinman in the 1500's - great apts, not super close or super far from campus, but much better than the sterile evanston place and the exhorbitant park evanston.

     
  • At April 05, 2006 10:02 PM, Blogger sghama said…

    Glad you've made your choice - you couldn't go wrong with either one. All the best at K!

     
  • At April 06, 2006 2:28 AM, Blogger FooBarMe said…

    Best of Luck for K- This post was superb!!

     
  • At April 07, 2006 3:53 AM, Blogger i_will_make_it said…

    Awww, but I just knew Chicago was going to come back with an awesome KO! :-P

    Have a blast at Kellogg, boy. And if the rest of your team is down too, don't come back crying fo yo mamma. We be sucking it up like the big men now - Chicago-style. *wink* Just messin' with you.

    But fo sho, my brotha. Kellogg & Chicago have a very *intimate* relationship. Recruiters wouldn't visit the midwest if only one school was there. Gotta face the truth: We need each other. lol. Good luck at K! Represent yo.

    Peace.

     
  • At April 09, 2006 11:42 AM, Blogger c'est la vie said…

    Hilarious....Kellogg's gonna have a riot the next 2 years with you around!!

     
  • At April 10, 2006 11:30 AM, Blogger bordeaux23 said…

    Great penmanship, especially in the last 2 posts!
    Congrats on your admit and on your decision to go to Kellogg. Although from reading your posts, I would have bet on you choosing Chicago!

     
  • At April 10, 2006 10:36 PM, Blogger Marina said…

    Gracias for the recomendations. I'll have to check them out and let you know what I think. Any other good eats I should be aware of?

     
  • At October 20, 2007 4:11 AM, Anonymous James P. said…

    "Team! Help me up!" ROFL.

     
  • At August 02, 2011 2:53 AM, Anonymous B School Bangalore said…

    Bangalore is the IT/ITES capital of the country and is also the headquarters for many Indian and MNC corporate houses. It is also the leading city in terms of Indian and foreign investment.

     

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